{Relationships} The 'Living-Together' Pandemic

My Great Aunt and Uncle on their 40th Wedding Anniversary!  Sticking together is something to be celebrated!!

With Josh and I having recently become engaged, I can't even begin to tell you how much advice we have received from people on how they would "do over" their experience and what, in their opinion, we should do during our pre-marriage days. One of the most common questions we have been asked besides "Have you set a date," has been "You guys are moving in together first, right?" 

In the very beginning stages of our dating relationship, Josh and I discussed what our intentions were (dating with the purpose of finding our life-partner/helpmate) and if we found that we were meant for each other, what the process would look like. We both agreed from day one (October 21, 2011) that we would choose to honor God with purity until our wedding night and that if it came to getting engaged and married that we would only move in together after we tied the knot. Our relationship is very modern in many ways, but for things pertaining to our faith and beliefs, I supposed we are what American's today would consider 'old-fashioned' and I am perfectly okay with that. 

It seems almost timely that an article on cohabiting before marriage posted on The New York Times Sunday Review has recently become viral. In this article, clinical psychologist, Meg Jay, catalogs the revolution of cohabitation before marriage and why it, often times leads to the demise of marriage. I sincerely encourage all of my readers to click the link and at least skim the article. It is from a secular perspective, but still presents the case for not moving in together.

She quotes a few studies that have been done on how this became the norm in America and what it means for the dynamic of American dating and marriage. One of the she wrote confirms something I have been saying for years about the American family changing because of the sexual revolution that occurred in the 1960's...

"Cohabitation in the United States has increased by more than 1,500 percent in the past half century. In 1960, about 450,000 unmarried couples lived together. Now the number is more than 7.5 million. The majority of young adults in their 20s will live with a romantic partner at least once, and more than half of all marriages will be preceded by cohabitation. This shift has been attributed to the sexual revolution and the availability of birth control, and in our current economy, sharing the bills makes cohabiting appealing. But when you talk to people in their 20s, you also hear about something else: cohabitation as prophylaxis."

 The acceptance of having sex before you get married is what has made prophylaxis an issue in the first place; it doesn't help that having 'up to seven sexual partners in your lifetime' is being advocated by pediatricians. Yes, I love my old pediatrician, but I cringed when we began these routine talks at my annual check-ups once I turned fifteen.  She was proud of my decision for abstinence, but assured me that my thoughts would change when I got a boyfriend. They didn't!  And actually, if anything, it made me more committed to my decision to wait. You don't have to worry about disease prevention if you aren't sexually active!!!

Many people also think that it is a necessity for a couple to live together before they get married so they can do a 'test-drive' before they get make a commitment to get hitched. When Meg asked one of her clients how she and her significant other ended up moving in together, she mentioned that "it just happened." When couples are having sex before they get married and are spending multiple nights per week at the house of their partner, the case for moving in to save money on rent and bills arises. Meg attributes this transition to a term called 'sliding-not-deciding.'

The danger with this is that when moving in together just happens, it jumps the gun for the natural stages of progression for relationships and many issues that should have been addressed first are swept under the rug. The predicament that moving in with a partner causes is the inability to walk away if you realize you aren't meant for each other; each person is dependent upon the other for a place to eat, sleep, and live. Eventually, they you get comfortable enough with each other that you decide to take the next step of getting married and quite often realize years (sometimes only months!) later that you are just really great coed roommates.

And America wonders why the divorce rate is said to be around 55%.

With everyone trying to jam their ideas down the throats of newly-engaged, it's really good to know the reasons behind the decisions you and your man have chosen to walk out your relationship the way you have. Not that everyone deserves to know every knitty-gritty detail, but just do that you can continue to honor God with your relationship. It really can help others when you choose to stay strong and not let the temptations of the world get to you. By choosing to stay pure and also to not move in together before marriage, you are telling the world that you hold the Biblical example of marriage sacred and dear and that you respect each other and GODS WORD enough to go against societal norms. It's just another way to use the pre-marriage stage of your relationship to reflect God's work in your life, and it definitely makes Him smile :)

{Guest Post} Tips For Races in Colder Weather

Running in colder weather can affect your performance. Just like anything else when it comes to sports, you have to prepare your body for the change in order to overcome the issue and achieve your goals. In this case, we will discuss some strategies in persevering through the cold so you can finish your upcoming race in the desired timeframe that you want to. Just because it’s cold, doesn’t mean running season is over! So, here we go, let’s talk about some tips for cold-weather running:

1.       Acclimatization. This is a super fancy word that basically means if you train in the cold, you’ll be able to perform in the cold. By introducing your body to these temperatures a little at a time, you will be able to adapt and thus excel. The same concept applies to preparing for extreme heat. This repetitive exposure helps to improve blood flow and regulate it as needed. So, in order to achieve this, it’s simple: run outside whenever you can and as much as you can prior to your winter race.

2.       Wear Easy Layers. And by easy, I mean easy to carry because you are more than likely going to be peeling off those layers as you run your race. We all know how it works: you start out freezing, then as your blood starts pumping from your increased heart rate, you begin to get warmer (even if it is snowing out). To sum it all up, wear layers that you can wrap around your waist or tuck in a strap real quick. With this strategy, you can adjust along the way, so you don’t end up being too warm.

3.       Start with Your Hands and Head. We lose a lot of heat through these outlets. At the beginning of the race, make sure you have gloves and a hat to keep that heat in and keep the energy to help you get going. Of course, you can always take them off as you warm up once you are further into the race. Keeping your hands and head warm at the start can make all the difference in your performance.

4.       Warm-Up … Outside. Warming up before any form of physical activity is essential, we all know that. However, when you’re about to take it outside to run, especially before a race, try and do your warm-ups and stretching outside in the cold. This not only attributes to the acclimatization aspect, but also prevents any sweating to occur pre-workout that might make you even colder when you step outdoors to take off.  

5.       Listen to Your Body. That’s the bottom line. Some temperatures are not meant to battle with. If it’s too cold, then OK – take it inside. We only progress when we do the right thing, and sometimes that means knowing when to stop pushing through. So, maybe on that one day where it’s freezing, rainy and windy, you practice at the gym. Above all, your body knows what’s best for you, so take a listen!

This article was provided by Happy Can, an Atlanta portable restroom company. We are a proud provider of porta potties and portable sinks for some of the top Atlanta-area races.

{Motivation Monday} Save Your Halloween Candy!

If you are anything like me, you probably dread the weeks following Halloween because you have a bucket-full of candy that just seems to be calling your name all day long. It's just a little 'fun-sized' piece, it won't hurt anything, right?  Well one 'fun-sized' piece turns into four in order to create a full-sized candy bar and at some point it turns into snacking on one piece every hour throughout the day. It's the beginning of the "winter downhill slide" that starts with said Halloween candy only to be followed up a month later with Thanksgiving leftovers, then another whammy at Christmas and New Years. What's a fittie to do?

This year, I took all of my Halloween Candy and stashed it in the smallest Victoria's Secret Bag that I had laying around (I did this and then hid it in my closet so my siblings wouldn't find it... and if they did go snooping for candy, they would never in a million years touch a VS bag) and covered it with pink tissue paper. I stashed it like this so it wouldn't be laying out on my dresser for my siblings (and myself) to be tempted to sneak a piece every day. Instead of throwing it all away, I kept it as a reward for myself on treat day. Anyone who has started a weight-loss/fitness journey will tell you that treat day is imperative to staying on track with your lifestyle change. Any time I think about that candy being stashed, I use it as motivation to go fit my workout in so I can earn my candy on treat day.

How do you all reward yourselves on treat day?  What tips and tricks do you use to prevent the downhill slide in winter? 

New Posting Schedule!

Hello Dear Followers!

With only one and a half months left until the new year, I have decided to begin a posting schedule. I have been motivated to do this so that I can remain consistent in posting for you all. My goal for 2014 is to build a blog that women can come to for inspiration and motivation to become the best they can be. I will be doing my best to follow this new blogging schedule....

Sundays - {Spiritual Fitness} - Posts will pertain to living a God-centered life

Mondays - {Motivation Monday} - inspirational quotes, pictures, and monthly challenges

Tuesdays - {Recipe} - recipes for healthy food, quick meals, snacks, and the occasional 'treat day recipe'

Wednesdays - {Workout Wednesday} - Most will include a compilation of my favorite YouTube Workouts, Zumba Routines, and other muscle group specific workouts.

Thursdays - {Guest Post} - I am looking to add some of your stories/inspiration to my blog!  If you are interested, please email me your post that does not exceed 750 words at imove92 at gmail dot com. I will add your post into the schedule for Thursdays

Fridays - {Relationships} - This will pertain to maintaining healthy relationships whether it be familial, friendships or romance. Also fun date ideas, dating tips for Christian girls, and how to reflect Christ in our relationships.

Saturdays - {Product Review} - This will include random reviews on some of my favorite products; fitness, food, protein powders, granola bars, and maybe even a book or make up. :)


I will also be doing a monthly give-away contest as a way to increase interaction on my blog and also give back to my 'blog family'. Over all, I am super excited to start this new chapter of blogging with all of you and grow together in our journey to spiritual and physical fitness. 

{Spiritual Fitness} Whom Shall I Fear?

I am so incredibly sorry for my lack of posting this past week. After helping my boyfriend, Josh get settled into his house in Cincinnati, my life here in Pittsburgh has become a whirlwind. I have decided that rather than spending this time apart sad and depressed that I only get to see him twice per month, I will use it to get my career together and to reach personal goals that I haven't had time to pour myself into until now. This blog is one of those things!

I have always been the type to go hard to get what I want; I feel that it is really important to have goals in life in order to stay on track and focused. With fitness, weight loss, school, and personal things, having an end goal helps to create a path for the journey and make it a little clearer. I have found that prayer is my best guide when considering things I would like to add to my plate. It seems like every time I am at a cross roads with decision/goal making, God is always faithful to reveal His desire for me when I ask Him to. This song has been a theme song for me since the day that I heard it...

Josh and I have been praying a lot lately about his decision to move to Cincinnati, wondering how to interpret the fact that he had been having a rough time adjusting to the new market. The question came up, "How do I know if this is Satan tempting me and keeping me from my goal, or if it's God telling me that I made the wrong decision?"  This one is HARD because there isn't a clear-cut answer.

Last night as I was working out, this song came up on my Slacker Radio station, and I felt like it was an answer to the prayer we have been lifting up for the past week. Immediately I sent it to Josh. This morning he was reminded to pray before he goes out into the field and by 3:00 PM he had three sales. When we include the Lord in our decisions, and follow up with Him along the way, He will ALWAYS make his will known. In this case, it was via encouragement from a Chris Tomlin song, but He can choose to show his will in other ways too. I am a firm believer that every situation can be redeemed, we just have to seek the redemption out.

There is such a relief in knowing that God has all of our days mapped out and He knows what we are going to do before we even do it. That's why He wants us to seek him when we make our goals and decisions. It's like having the guide to life!  Why wouldn't you want to use it?

{Workout} It's "Leg Day" at Home!

All you need for this amazingly intense workout at home is a set of either 5 or 8 pound weights, a great playlist, and a 4x6 foot section of carpet (even a DORM room will be sufficent!). I like to use light weights and do more repotitions so I build strong, lean, feminine muscle... Not bulk. If you're looking to slim down, this is for you; if you're looking to bulk up, it probably isn't. 

I always start with legs and glutes in the standing position...

50 weighted squats (I know you hate them, but it really is the best all around butt and legs exercise... The results are worth it!)

40 weighted dead lifts (this is great for the part of your legs that meets your rear)

25 standing right leg side lifts 

25 standing left leg side lifts 

40 right leg kick backs (kick the leg back as far as you can behind you, squeezing your glutes)

40 left leg kick backs

Then move to the floor...

50 leg openers (lay on your back legs straight in the air, slowly open them as far as you can and slowly bring them back together. That's one rep)

50 booty lifts (laying on your back with your knees bent and hands down by your side, lift your booty off the floor, hold for a second, then lower to an inch above the floor and repeat)

40 right fire hydrants (on all fours, channel your inner puppy as you lift your leg up like you were marking your territory on a fire hydrant. Keep your leg bent though!)

40 left fire hydrants 

30 right hamstring curls (again on all four, lift one leg up directly behind you keeping the knee bent; flex your foot as you straighten your leg from being bent to straight behind you, then bend it again and repeat.)

 

30 left hamstring curls

30 right leg isolated bent leg pulses (go back to the hamstring curl position and pulse your bent leg up in the air, squeezing the glutes.)

30 left leg isolated bent leg pulses

When you're finished don't forget to stretch the major muscle groups in your legs and booty :) let me know what workout you all would like to see next!

{Recipe} Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Shake

This shake has been so helpful in keeping me full and helping keep my migraines at bay. It's by no means a low calorie shake, but when you are living an active and healthy lifestyle it's is important to get enough protein, carbs, and calories to give you energy at the start of the day. 

Ingredients: 

1 whole banana

1 cup of vanilla Greek yogurt 

4 Tbs. Trader Joes chocolate hemp seed powder 

1 Tbs peanut butter

1 cup of ice

1/2 cup of water 

What to do: 

Mix it all together in the blender/food processor and enjoy!

{Boyfriends} Disrespect in What You Aren't Doing

trust: belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc. (Merriam Webster's Online Dictionary)

In a relationship, trust is such a multifaceted word. People tend to think that trust only has to do with knowing your significant other isn't going to cheat on you with someone else. For many, it takes a while to get to that point in their relationship because we bring "hurt" to the relationship in what we like to call "trust-issues." It may be worse now than ever because the concept of dating has become a past-time rather than a means of figuring out if you are compatible for life. It's all about the here and now and if you get along for now. 

This is why I really hate the fact that people today just "date around" in order to fill a hole in their soul that is loneliness. God never intended for a relationship between a man and a woman to be such a stressful speculation or a means of finding our self-worth. That's what HE is for! 

When you have been dating your man for a while and have built your relationship solidly on the rock that is The Word of God, there enters a third party mediator that acts as accountability for both you. It makes trusting the other to be faithful so much easier. Eventually in a long-term relationship you reach the point of being able to say whole-heartedly, "I know he would never even CONSIDER cheating on me." It's commonplace trust. 

But what about when he ask you if you trust him in other aspects?  What if he asks if you trust his decision-making ability for both of your futures?  That's HARD!  It's one thing to know your man would never cheat on you, but it's another to be so sure that he has BOTH of your interests in mind to allow him to make decisions that impact not only HIS but also YOUR future! 

A really good example of this is a conversation Josh and I had tonight, actually. He is moving to Cincinnati on October 5th, and I (obviously) have been taking it pretty hard. I don't do well with change AT ALL.  For some reason, I thought he's always come pick me up for dates at my parents house - even after we got married. Silly me, I know, but I have questioned him multiple times about if he's sure this is the right move for his career. After probably five different times of this questioning followed by me crying, he finally sort of snapped on me tonight. Looking back at our conversation, I absolutely had it coming. All this time I have been saying with my mouth that I support his decision whatever it may be, but my actions have been saying the exact opposite. 

"Trust is so much more than knowing I'm not going to cheat on you, Danielle. It's trusting that I can make a decision for my career that I know in the end will be the best for both of our benefit. Why can't you see that?  It's the kind of trust that makes our relationship ready for the next level of getting past boyfriend/girlfriend love we have now." 

I honestly had never thought of trust in Josh to be letting go of control and trusting that God is speaking to him enough to trust that the decision he makes will be what is in God's plan for us. How disrespectful of me to think that He hasn't heard clearly from God on this?!  At the time when I thought I had been supporting him the most, I have been so so wrong. Is it hard to let go of my control freak nature and my need to have every action carefully planned the way I want it? Oh my gosh, it's the hardest thing I've done. But this is what I have been looking for in a relationship!  A Godly man that challenges me and calls me out when I need it. One that is so sure in his God-filled decision-making that he is willing to stand up and cause an argument for what he believes God is calling him to do. But I shouldn't provoke him to that.

As his future wife (we aren't engaged yet, but have a purposeful relationship of two years and are heading in the engagement direction :)), I am excited that we had this argument tonight because it is laying the ground work for me to learn how to be submissive to him knowing that he is making choices of love for me and desire to please the Lord with his life. 

18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. - Colossians 3:18-19

That is so admirable to me and it makes me love him even more to know that he is setting our relationship up to be one that is truly pleasing to God. When our men are making decisions based on having heard from God, it is not our place to question it though it is insanely hard!  Sometimes we think of things that they may not have, but being able to bring our thoughts to our guys without it seeming confrontational or seeming to question their ability to make a choice, is a matter of how we choose our words. Saying something like, "Are you sure you prayed about this?" is incredibly offensive. However, something like, "Have you thought/prayed about {fill in the blank here}?" is a way to get your concerns across without being condescending. I am so excited to be learning this now before we get married so we have a strong base to fall back on throughout our lives now and in the future when we are married and making a life with each other. 

Josh and I at the Pirate's game vs. the Reds last night :)  We love baseball and I think he's warming up to candid pictures (it's about time, seeing as he is dating a photographer!)

{Treat Day Recipe} Gluten Free Dairy Free Chocolate Nutella Cupcakes

Ok, that's a mouth full. And yes, I realize this recipe isn't necessarily healthy, but it's designed for "treat day" and is gluten and dairy free... so it has some redemption. I made it this afternoon with the kids I nanny, and it turned out fabulously. And actually now that I'm thinking about it, Nutella may not be dairy free, but it can be easily left out.

Ingredients to Make Cupcakes:

- 1 cup Bob's Red Mill Gluten Free All-Purpose Baking Flour

- 1/2 cup Tapioca Flour

- 1/2 cup Potato Starch

- 2/3 cup Cocoa Powder

- 1 tsp. Xanthan Gum

- 2 tsp. Baking Powder

- 1 tsp. Baking Soda

- 1/2 tsp. salt

- 1 cup sugar (or sugar substitute)
- 2 eggs
- 1 tsp Vanilla
- 1/2 cup Almond Milk
- 1/2 cup Brewed Coffee
- 2/3 cup Canola Oil

Ingredients to Make Chocolate Nutella Frosting:

- 4 cups Powdered Sugar

- 1/3 cup Cocoa Powder

- 1/3 cup Brewed Coffee

- 1/3 cup of Nutella

- 1 stick of Fleichman's Butter, softened 

- 1/3 cup Almond Milk

- 1/2 tsp. Vanilla 

What to Do:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line muffin tin with 24 cupcake liners.

2. Mix together all dry ingredients (including sugar) for cupcakes in a medium-sized bowl. After it has all been mixed, break up any clumps that may have formed, then add all of the wet ingredients. Be careful to not over-mix, because xanthan gum has the tendency to become gummy when it's over-worked. The batter should be somewhat thick, but light and airy.

3. Using two spoons, scoop two tablespoon-sized scoops of batter into each cupcake liner, filling about 1/3 from the top. 

4. Bake at 350 for 12-16 minutes or until your cupcakes spring back up when touched in the center and a knife comes out clean. Let cool. 

5. Mix together powdered sugar and cocoa powder, adding the butter, Nutella and vanilla. Stir until well incorporated, then add the coffee and almond milk. Whisk until frosting is a smooth consistency, spread over cooled cupcakes and enjoy!

My nanny kids wanted to make something with the Halloween Theme, so we used a kit for the liners and decorations that I picked up from Michael's Craft Store for $6.99.

{Recipe} Chocolate Banana Coconut Protein Shake

Ingredients: 

1 medium sized banana chilled

1/2 packet of Spiriuteen Chocolate Protein powder

1 Coconut Chobani Greek Yogurt 

1 cup of ice 

1 cup of water

What to do: 

1. Add everything to a blender or food processor and enjoy! 

{Fitspo} This Totally Happened!

Last night, my most favorite celebrity trainer, Dolvett Quince and I were able to talk a bit on Twitter! Not going to lie... I was geeking out over here. 

After having seen him on The Biggest Loser and the way he genuinely seems to care for the people he works with, he became my fitness role model. This was really exciting and encouraging for me, because exactly what he said is what I have been striving for! 

{YouTube Workout} Zumba to P!nk!

Good morning, all!  Here is a short cardio workout to add to your toning routine for today! It starts off with one of my most favorite warm up songs, and they rest are by P!nk. If you have any suggestions for songs you'd like to see in the next Zumba playlist, let me know!

The best thing about Zumba is that you don't have to be good at dancing for it to work!  Just shaking your body and putting effort in will show results. So, if it's your first time doing Zumba, remember to not get frustrated and just laugh it off when you mess up!  I've been to tons of classes where even the INSTRUCTOR messes up!  You can do it :)





My suggestion is to start with yesterday's toning post, then move to doing this playlist for cardio. If you feel like it's too much, just skip to the songs you like!

Happy Friday!!

{YouTube Workout} Total Body Workout Number One

If you are anything like me, your busy schedule doesn't leave a huge amount of time to fit in your ideal workout every day. That's why it's important to target exactly what you need to get done in a short amount of time. Over time, I will be creating and posting my own videos on YouTube of the workouts I did to help me lose 80 pounds, but it may be a while before I get the chance to get them done. Often, I find myself searching YouTube to get some fresh inspiration to keep my workout fun, and not surprisingly, there is a treasure trove of awesome stuff for fitties like us! Until I get my own videos up, I'm going to be posting links to the videos I love. Each post with the title {YouTube Workout} will be designed to do once through (or more times if you want!) and will target most of the "trouble" areas we tend to focus on.

So, if you're feeling energetic today try to complete all of the "mini-workouts" I have in the first play list. However, if you want to start easy, just pick four and make every move count!  Just a heads up, you'll need a set of free weights (or as they mention, cans of soup work too if you don't have access to a set of hand weights) and some water.

Start by stretching a little then get right into working on your abs....

Then work on your inner thighs!  I will warn you, this is tough!!

We'd be lying if we said we didn't like the results of this one. It's hard but SO worth it.

Legs, Legs, Legs

Then even it up with arms!

And just so you all know, I did this exact play list once a day for two weeks and saw results by day three. So, keep up the hard work and let me know how you like it!!! Add in a little bit of cardio to fill up and hour, and you've got a great workout to do at least three times per week.  Happy exercising!

{Recipe} Cold Veggie Pizza

This super-easy, kid-friendly pizza can be made for about $13.00 and only takes 25 minutes to make! 

Ingredients:

1 can of Pillsbury Crescent Dough Sheets

1 zucchini peeled and cut into about 1/4 of an inch cubes

1 tomato cut into 1/4 inch cubes and drained 

1/2 of a red bell pepper cubed 

1/2 of a yellow bell pepper cubed

1/2 of an orange bell pepper cubed 

1 shallot 

2 green onions diced

1 package of light cream cheese 

Sea salt

What to do: 

1. Preheat oven to 375. Spread the crescent dough out on a cookie sheet or pizza stone and bake for 12 minutes or until golden brown. 

2. Cut the veggies and mix in a bowl to top the pizza with later. (Save a small amount of shallots and green onions to mix into the cream cheese). 

3. Put the cream cheese into a small mixing bowl and loosen by stirring with a fork. Add rest of shallots and green onion to the cream cheese. 

4. Once the pizza crust has cooled, spread cream cheese mixture over it leaving an inch around the edges. Top with the veggie mixture, patting it down into the cream cheese. 

5. Finish off with a sprinkle of sea salt and shredded mozzarella cheese and put in the refrigerator for 30 minutes or until its reached desired coldness.

Keeps well in the refrigerator with cellophane in between layers. 

Have an idea for a recipe variation? Add your ideas into the comments section below :)

{Fitspo} Finding an Eternal Motivation

Over the course of posting on this blog, I will be featuring a "Fitspo" section. It will be a series of posts that are intended to help you stay motivated to be healthy. Sometimes they will be quotes, pictures, articles, and Bible verses, but I wanted to start the section off with what I feel is the most important reason to have consistency in our workout lives. 

We all tend to lose inspiration to maintain a "fittie" lifestyle every now and then. When you get to those times, what do you look to for inspiration?  A lot of people follow Twitter and Instagram feeds of fellow "fitfamily" members who post pictures of themselves killing it at the gym and seeing results. Others watch shows like "The Biggest Loser" so they can be reminded of what they don't want to become. These things are great to get an immediate spike in enthusiasm, but it will taper off quickly. What if we could find a way to get AND STAY motivated? We can!

"Don't you know that all the runners in the stadium run, but only one gets the prize? So run to win. Everyone who competes practices self-discipline in everything. The runners do this to get a crown of leaves that will shrivel up and die, but we do it to receive a crown that will never die. So this is how I run - not with a clear goal in sight. I fight like a boxer in the ring, not like someone who is shadow boxing. Rather, I am landing punches on my own body and subduing it like a slave. I do this so that I myself won't be disqualified after preaching to others."

                                                                                                      - 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

When we look at exercise in the light of our call as Christians on this earth, it makes sense that it should be a practice that EVERYONE is employing. Earlier in the chapter, Paul discusses not letting anything to get in the way of the gospel of Christ.

There are plenty of ways that not exercising will get in the way of the gospel going forth. People who exercise consistently and take care of their bodies show that they are the type of "self-disciplined" that Paul is talking about. When we give our lives over to Christ and he dwells in us, our bodies have become a temple to host His Spirit (1 Corinthians, Chapter 6). We need to LIVE OUT what we know in our minds about our relationship with Christ. When we choose to take the route to beat our bodies into submission and resist the temptation of sweets, watching TV instead of getting your workout time in, and taking the lazy way out, that is how we can glorify God.

Setting a "goal weight" (I too am guilty of this) does the spiritual aspect of exercise such a grave injustice. We are not to exercise with a goal weight in mind, we are to do it in order to be the best we can be as a temple of Christ. Yes, it is good to be FIT so we can remain in good health to serve the Lord, but fit does not necessarily mean skinny. It means being in good shape and in good health and that is going to look vastly different for everyone. It also means staying spiritually fit by staying in the Word, and having a surrounding of other Christians that are going to be your "iron sharpening iron".

So here is where we find our eternal inspiration, friends. Stay fit and be consistent in order to keep your body in shape as a show of the Lord manifesting self-discipline in you; not to be the "best looking" or so that you can get the best time at a triathlon. 

{Boyfriends} How to Show Your Affection When You Aren't Married - Part One

As young Christian women living in the world today, knowing how to go about relationships in a modern yet Christian way can be very difficult. How do you find a balance that isn't too "old fashioned" but incorporates all of the wholesome and traditional elements of finding your sole mate? How do you act around the man you think you want to marry?  How can you show your care and affection for him without compromising your values sexually?  I know from experience this can be hard - and your parents are right when they say it gets harder to abstain when you know that you have found the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with. However, with the power of prayer, accountability, and a very transparent relationship with Christian adults you can trust (in my case with Josh, it's my parents that we look to for help) it is NOT IMPOSSIBLE to be intimate with your significant other without sex like the world says it is.

Naturally, everyone's comfort-ability level with physical intimacy in their relationships are a little different, and it is up to you and your man to set those boundaries from the beginning. I personally am only okay with going as far as sharing kisses with my darling, but I definitely understand that some people don't even want to go that far and it's totally alright!  I just wanted to preface my post, so my readers will know where I am coming from when sharing how I choose to care for Josh in our relationship. My prayer for you no matter how old you are is that you will be blessed and inspired to care for the man in your life to show you love him with out compromising your purity.

PRAY FOR HIM!

I can't stress this enough. it should be bold, underlined and italicized 100 times. When you are looking for a Christian man, it is imperative that you pray for him. I have personal testimonies about this from both my current and previous boyfriends. God is ALWAYS faithful to answer your prayers when you keep Him at the center of your relationship. Whether its giving you guidance on your decision to get married or break up, the Lord never fails to give you peace of mind about your decision as long as it is His will. It keeps peace in your relationship. The Lord was able to show me with a previous boyfriend that it was time to move on, and with my current boyfriend, Josh, that he is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

It's hard to think that your Superman who is so amazing and lovely to you could have flaws; in love we can all have the tendency to be enamored and caught up in those fluttery gushey feelings. I'm sorry to be a killjoy, but at one point or another, you will realize that he is great and awesome, but definitely has his flaws.  When you choose to pray for him and bring what bothers you to his attention kindly, you'll find that it goes MUCH farther than picking him apart constantly. Which brings me to my next point.

BUILD HIM UP CONSTANTLY 

It's easy to brag on your man to your girlfriends, but how often do you tell him that he's great? Yes, they want to hear how much you love them, but they also need to hear specifics of what you love about them and how they treat you. In the same way that it is important to tell him if something he is doing is bothering you, you need to positively reinforce what he is doing that is good!  Even if it's something like, "I really love it when you hold the door open for me," he will appreciate that his efforts to treat you like a lady are being recognized. It's well known that women like to be complimented on their physical appearance, but did you know that men like to hear when they look nice also?  If you like it when your man wears a certain color or shirt, TELL HIM!  He may be tough and manly, but inside he needs that boost of confidence to know that you find him attractive and that the choices he is making are on the right track.

LET HIM KNOW YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT HIM

Part of the "old fashioned" element of my dating ideals is that the woman should be pursued by the man. As a Godly woman I should be sought after by a Godly man, not vice versa. However, once your man has done the chasing and you are dating, it is not only okay but it is GREAT for you to take initiative in some things. This is something that Josh definitely taught me after a few months of dating. I still like the fact that he is the one who mostly takes initiative in our relationship, but he needs to feel appreciated for doing so. I like to plan surprises like getting tickets to a game or concert I know he would like, offering to occasionally pay for dinner or our date to the movies, our even by planning a surprise date day where we do a bunch of cool things but he gets to relax and doesn't have to drive or pay. Other small ways you can show you care are by sending him the first text in the morning rather than waiting for him to text you, telling him randomly throughout the day that you are thinking about him or a specific thing you did together, and by boosting him up to friends so when they meet, they can say, "Hey, I've heard a lot of great things about you!"

BE THERE FOR HIM

Like I said before, even guys who are tough and manly need an emotional release sometimes. Most won't just come right out and let you know when something is bothering them so it may take some gentle questions to crack your man's tough-guy seal. Try something simple like "Hey, are you okay?  You've been acing a little ____ lately and you usually do that when something is on your mind. I'm here for you if you want to talk about it."  He may or may not take to it, but knowing when to ask the right questions goes a long way. When he feels like you are safe to share with, he will open up - and when he does, you HAVE to keep it under wraps. The last thing he wants is for you to run to your girlfriends and tell them all about his personal business. Be his shoulder to cry on and his go-to person to laugh with.

The other thing about guys is that they're kind of big babies when they get a cold. If you offer to bring over soup and a movie and just snuggle and relax, chances are he will probably love it. Josh has Chron's Disease, which is a chronic intestinal issue. When he is having a flare up, I know he needs rest, Gluten Free pretzels, and a lemon-lime Gatorade. Usually I'll stop by Redbox and get a movie we've been wanting to see and take it over to watch with him. Little things like that are the things that help you bond and will show him that you really do care about his well-being.


This is just the first part of the post on how to care for your man when you aren't married. Check back soon for the second post!

How to Start Your Fitness Journey in 7 Steps

If you are feeling inspired to start your journey to good health but are unsure of where to start, look no further!  I will be posting tips, thoughts, inspiration, and work-outs (physical and spiritual!) to help get you started. Keep checking back for updates or just click the follow button to make it easier on yourself!  

Set a Goal 

Whether you want to tone up for your class reunion or lose 100 pounds, its important to set realistic goals. First start by coming up with your overall goal, then break it down into smaller goals. So let's say you want to lose 25 pounds and you'd like to tackle those pesky flapping under arms, first start by setting a date you want to accomplish your goal. For 25 pounds, 2 months is realistic. Pick a special date (a cousin's wedding, vacation, ect.) and get started. Having a date in mind will help you to envision how great you will feel at the event and will help you stay motivated to eat right and work out when you have allotted time to do so.

Side note - if you aren't sure what your goal should be, just talk to your doctor. It's a good idea to do that before getting started anyway in order to avoid injuries.

Make a Plan

A goal is great, but you have to have a plan of attack in order to make it to your goal!  Looking ahead at your overall goal can be really disheartening, so break it down into smaller goals and have a mini-celebration every time you hit a milestone along your path toward your big goal. When I was starting out, I eliminated all dairy products from my diet... this was hard because I LOVE ice cream and cheese. I hated exercise but knew it was necessary in order to get to my goal, so every Sunday - as long as I had exercised for at least 45 minutes three times that week, I would reward myself with a little bit of ice cream to help me stay motivated. 

Mix Up Your Workouts and Your Music

In order to stay motivated to work out, mix up what you do and what you're listening to while doing it. I started by walking and biking then graduated into going to Zumba with girlfriends and doing cardio/toning DVDs. Have a playlist ready on your iPod for your different routines so you can look forward to and get motivated for each different workout when it's turn comes up. It helps it not get monotonous.  

Get a Friend to Do it With You

Losing weight and getting in shape CAN be done on your own, but it is so much more enjoyable and fun when you have a friend to join you in success!  This helps especially when you don't like exercise to begin with. Going for a walk/jog with a friend is more like hanging out and provides a distraction for the fact that you are pouring sweat and burning fat. 

Sooner or later, you'll be able to go it alone, but in the beginning, it's helpful to have that other person to lean on, complain about how badly your back hurts with, and also to share recipes for yummy, healthy snacks that you love. 

Pour Your Heart into It

With weight loss and getting into shape, you have to give it 100% effort. Pour your heart and soul into your work out. You are only cheating YOURSELF and YOUR results by giving half effort. You want to get to your goal and you want to be PROUD of the hard work you put in to get there. Over time, I have grown to love my workout time because its the time of day that I get to release all anger and anxiety from the day and take it out on my body in a healthy way. Some people go to the bar, I work out - it's healthier AND it's cheaper :)

Take Pictures!

When I first got started with my journey, I needed to lose 80 pounds. I took my first journey picture and was absolutely disgusted with myself and how out of control I let myself get. This picture not only served as a wake up call, but it has helped me to be able to see where I came from and keeps me motivated to NEVER GO BACK!  You may hate it, no one has to see it, it can even be a cell phone picture, but just take it!  And take one every time you feel like you are having a good day with your journey so you can scroll back through your phone to get inspired by yourself. This is a journey to fitness and to seeing yourself how God sees you; God thinks you are BEAUTIFUL!  The pictures are just there as a visual representation of the work you're putting in to make your outsides match your insides. 

Pray

As God daily for strength to over come Satan along your journey. That piece of chocolate cake sitting on your counter is temptation to stray you off your path to becoming the best YOU can be for God. Pray for diligence, physical ability, and for God to bless your efforts to get healthy so you can serve His kingdom better. When you keep God at the center of your goals, He will bless it, friends!  I am a living testimony to that!  You can do it with help from God and the people who love you. 

I'm praying for you!

Becoming Fit: Inspiration for Finding the Best You!

The worst picture I could find of myself
at 230 pounds. 

Many of my readers are friends who follow me on Facebook and know my weight loss testimony. However, I am aware that many of my readers may not know me in person, so I want to take this opportunity to share my journey and my hope for the inspirational future of this blog. 

A common misconception with weight loss is that the journey starts the day you decide to make a change. It's a misconception because it doesn't take into account the reasons that led you to be the weight that you are so unhappy with. If you don't address what is causing the problem, diet and exercise will only be a band aid for the issue. It will only fix it symptomatically and everyone knows that leads to even bigger problems. With that in mind, I will begin to tell you about my story. 

At age seven, I was diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome. When people hear that someone has TS, they immediately think "Oh, that's that swearing thing."  Well, that is true, but there are a few different types of TS, and that kind only affects about 2% of the TS population. My manifestations were always with muscle movements that we like to call "tics" and vocal tics that are more like repetitive noise making (NOT swearing). With the help of my family and peers, it didn't take long to realize that I was different and that it was pretty annoying. The ridicule led me to question what I knew about God and why He would allow me to have something like this.

Junior Year.

By age ten, my body was in pain. My neck and shoulders ached from the constant uncontrollable muscle movements that just seemed to slip out. The more I became aware of it, the worse it would get. The more people would comment on it, the more sad I would become because I couldn't help it. Somewhere during this time, I realized how easy it was to make myself feel better with food, so I would eat. Chips, ice cream, Cheese Its, chocolate, anything I could get my hands on because in my mind, I was always hungry. I was ten and couldn't make the distinction that I was hungry to fit in, not psychically hungry. 

Because I was a kid, the amount I ate every day didn't really start to affect me until my teen years because I was really active. I played sports and was involved in a lot. Over the summer between my 6th and 7th grade year, my body changed into a woman's shape which was earlier than most of my peers. While most of the girls in my grade were just barely out of training bras I was shopping for a C-Cup in the women's department. This led to more tormenting because people make fun of what they don't understand and what they are jealous of. I hated the fact that I was a size 8 in 7th grade while all my friends were still between a 2-4. We all hated the fact that I had a chest but for different reasons; me because I was ostracized and them because they wanted the attention I got. I HATED IT!  I wanted a boyish body so I could be like everyone else. 

My mom always told me that some day I would appreciate the body that God gave me. That it was designed especially for the husband He had picked out for me and that he would be a "Honey". I wish I would have

Most people say I wore 230 pounds well and
that they couldn't tell, but I definitely could!

believed her back in seventh grade before I began years of tearing my self down part by part and cell by cell. 

High school was especially hard. I made the decision to be home schooled/ cyber schooled so I didn't have to deal with being made fun of on a daily basis. I always tell people that it was because I liked to work during the day babysitting, but if I were to be honest that was a beneficial result of my being so self-conscious that I would cry at the thought of even setting foot inside Peters Township High School. 

I played softball and volleyball and that was pretty much what kept me active, but it slowed down as I got older and lazier and my interests changed from running around in the yard to reading and crafting. My senior year, I was able to eat a foot-long from Subway all in one sitting and could eat a brick of cheese in a day. I landed my dream job working in a photography studio in Canonsburg about half way through my senior year and loved it until my boss started projecting her own weight insecurities on me by commenting on what I would eat and how my outfit choices made me look heavy - an aesthetic she didn't want for her studio. Finally one day, I had enough and decided to quit. Right about that same time a person that was very dear to me say some really hurtful things about my weight that ignited a spark in me to make a change. It was the "I'll show you!" Spark. Regardless, it made me wake up and realize that being 230 pounds at 18 was ridiculous. 

The first thing I did to lose weight was eliminating ALL dairy products. Cheese, ice cream, yogurt, sour cream, milk. GONE. Over a month and a half I dropped 30 pounds with out exercise. I plateaued and realized I needed to lose more in order to get under the 200 pound mark. If you have ever weighed over 200 pounds, you know the excitement that comes when you hit 199 on the scale. I rejoiced privately though, because I was so embarrassed about having been over 200 pounds in the first place.

After so much hard work, I finally got to where I wanted to be
but it was hard to keep up with such ridiculous habits.

The next 40 pounds came off with exercise - obsessive exercise 2 times per day 6 days per week. I biked a lot and bough SELF Magazine after SELF Magazine, did countless OnDemand exercise videos, walked with friends, swam, hiked, anything that burned calories. During this time is when I discovered my love for Zumba and would go 3 nights per week to various classes.

After I got the hang of what I was doing, I would create my own exercise routines and Zumba choreography which helped me to lose the last few healthy pounds I wanted to get off. Two summers ago I was in the best shape of my life. 

My goal weight was 145 pounds. It was the lowest weight in the BMI index for my height and I was on a mission to get there no matter the cost to my body. I really regret being so reckless with it now, because it has caused a variety of heath issues I am still working on. Even though I got down to 155 unhealthily, when I finally got help for my problems, I gained back ten pounds and am usually settled around 165 now. 

This is me now, on the right. I'm happy with who I am and how
my body looks. I still workout almost daily, but I'm so much
healthier now and I've gained so much self-confidence. 

I realized that 16 of that 165 pounds is chest and it makes me feel a lot better about accepting my body because I know that I was intended to be this weight. There is nothing else I could possibly do that would get me to 145 pounds and I have embraced it. I found a man who adores my curves and thinks I am the most beautiful thing in the world. 

On this side of of my transformation, I can say that I am genuinely a lot happier than I used to be and I know it shows. So many of my friends have witnessed the results of my hard work and have chosen to make a change for themselves!  I love it when people ask me to help them lose weight because it allows me to share my testimony with them of how I changed physically and how the physical change helped me spiritually. It might sound crazy, but on those nights when I really didn't want to work out, I asked God for the strength to get through it to be the best I can be for His kingdom. 

This guy is my motivation to stay healthy!
He is so good to me when he knows I'm
starting to feel down on myself again. I thank
the Lord for him every day. 

I know exactly what I am supposed to do with my life now, and it is to help people make the change that I made so that no one has to feel the pain that I felt when I was younger. Being bullied by people who are supposed to be your friends and even some family members is scarring, and if there is something I can do to help put an end to it, I will and that is what I am dedicating my life to... helping others see themselves how God sees them - as beautiful creatures. I am getting my Zumba Instructor Certification next Friday and want to eventually finish my degree in health and physical fitness so I can help women lose weight, get healthy mentally and spiritually and begin to love themselves how the Lord loves them.

On your own, it's really hard, but together and with the power of the Lord we can do it!  My hope for the future of this blog is serve as an inspiration for your personal goals for spiritual and physical fitness. I hope that we can be an encouragement to each other through the process so if you have something to say, I would LOVE to hear it!    

Two is Better Than One

My Aunt Peggy and Uncle Frank have been together for 40 years as of last year. They got married in a decade where interracial couples were looked down upon in society. Only two others came to their wedding, and most gave them less than a year before they got divorced, but here they are 40 years later re-upping and renewing their vows with even more love for each other than when they initially got married. 

If you have ever been in a relationship, be it romantic or platonic, you know that they all have their up's and down's. It can sometimes be hard to see why you are involved with the person and it's often tempting to cut and run. However, God warns us about doing this... it's hard to recover from a fall when you've pushed away everyone who can lift you up!

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. 

-Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 

This has become abundantly clear to me in my relationship with my boyfriend but it can apply to any relationship you are currently in. It's hard in today's day and age to stick around long enough to fix something that's broken. Why do you think the divorce rate in America is 55%?  That is an abomination, friends!  We should be severely embarrassed that our generation is so inwardly focused and selfish that they can't stop long enough to help pick their friends (or significant others) up, dust them off, and get them back on track. Just because it is hard does not mean we shouldn't try.  

It is especially difficult when depression is involved. Depression has this evil way of sneaking in to your life and getting tangled up in every part. I can speak about this from experience from both the depressed side and the friend/significant other of people who are frequently battling with depression. It is ABSOLUTELY a real issue and it's ABSOLUTELY from Satan. Those who are depressed tend to be cranky, sad, and often times will push away their close friends without realizing it. It's easy to say, "Psht! Fine, whatever. I don't need to deal with this." But that's not what God calls us to as friends!  He says in Proverbs that a friend loves at all times and that iron sharpens iron. What better way to sharpen each other in a relationship than showing that you are going to stick around and put in the work even when the going gets rough?  That is how we can use our relationships to be a testimony to God's good work in our lives because without Christ being involved, we would have no reason or conviction to stay and make it work.

I am a firm believer that everything in life happens for a reason. You are brought together with friends, even if just for a season, to be seasoning in each others lives. Whether you are the motivator or the motivated, the depressed or the one pulling your friends up out of the mud, you are there for a reason!  You add something to life that is uniquely yours. You have been given gifts that you can use to show God's love, majesty, and omnipotence. 

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace.

-1 Peter 4:8-10

I implore you to prayerfully stay in your relationships when it gets hard. God sees your heart and effort and will bless your dedication in His timing.